2021 Self-Audit

There are moments in life when we take stock of the past, and realise many facets of ourselves. While COVID hangs over our heads as a warning that travel is a no-no, and we have to sit tight with masks on, my mind continues to wander, and my heart seeks guidance.

This year, I have a deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for every moment with family and friends. I have also experienced a deep need to self-develop. Pushing through my comfort zone has been a challenge.

Ever since I wrote the book on self-esteem, my life has changed. I had researched not just the psychology behind our behaviour, but also to understand the self. The learnings I gleaned from motivational speakers, modern-day gurus, and empowered individuals resulted in applying the wisdom in my life. Inner work is all about the willingness to change the way we think, feel, and act.

I started with a morning ritual of gratitude. As a lover of the written word, I believe that words have the power to impact the way we communicate with ourselves and others. Therefore, besides words of gratitude, as much as possible, throughout the day, I monitored my inner dialogue, reflecting on the beliefs or conditionings that created a particularly negative thought process.

Fear has been a driving force in life. Converting my way of thinking, from a fear-based approach to a courage-based approach, had a great impact on the way I see myself today. In this year, I pushed through my comfort zone, challenged myself to face my fears. I held firm with determination, and pursued many new personal goals.

With these mindful changes, the greatest leaps began to happen. Not only did I notice a shift happening within me, I noticed that, as a result of my efforts, there was a difference externally.

I reverted to some of the learnings from the research in self-esteem. There is one particular teaching that resonated with me in 2021. In my book, Reboot Reflect Revive: Self-esteem in a Selfie World, I mention Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychologist, who shared her findings on growth and fixed mindsets.

Dweck popularized the idea of mindsets. She defines mindset as a simple idea that has a profound effect on a person’s life. ‘Mindset is the view that you accept for yourself what determines the way you live your life, see the world, and make decisions.’ After decades of research into people’s beliefs about themselves and their abilities, Dweck identified two fundamental mindsets that people have.

The first is a fixed mindset, which thinks that our abilities are innate or unchangeable. Our thoughts are rigid and conditioned. If we stick to a belief system, we are not able to look at an alternate point of view. When this mindset is predominant, failure can be unsettling because it makes us doubt ourselves from the root of who we are. The other way of thinking is the growth mindset, which means we expect that we can improve our basic qualities and capabilities. In this mindset, failure is not so problematic, for it shows us how to change and learn from our mistakes. We accept that change is inevitable, and in an ephemeral world, adapting to new ideologies and trends is necessary to stay in sync with the new generation. Resisting change affects our own mindsets.

Many people are afraid to change or push towards a goal because they feel that other people will not approve, or they might lose respect if they fail. It is true there are people who will judge or resent us for wanting to aspire towards a goal. But that is a choice that one must make based on one’s own mindset.

If you have a growth mindset, you are never too old to learn. 

In 2021, I trained to become a life coach. Having the mindset of a student was an adjustment, but by being a student, I have learned how to teach. With over 140 hours of training and coach practice, I have discovered ways to resolve limiting beliefs, and to empower others in finding their purpose to lead a more fulfilling life. My niche: mindset coach. We need a growth mindset to be open to change, to let go of old and bring in the new, to be brave enough to flow, undulating through the waters of life lessons.

2021 has been a year of learnings and great opportunities to redefine my priorities.

Having a platform to share my perspectives helped me understand my strengths and weaknesses. These platforms have given me opportunities to transform: Youtube channel, TEDx online, book launch plus coaching workshops @ Naveda, recognition at an Indian Businessmen’s Association event, launch at Bookazine, joining the WoHK, and completing a book project as a ghostwriter.

2021 has brought in many new people in my life. I am grateful for the cultivated relationships, stronger bonds, new friendships and the community of empowered individuals: life coaches, mentors, gurus, and wise souls who I have met this year, their very presence has taught me so much.

We are all born with certain skills, but our attitude toward improving them and ourselves ultimately determines our success in life.

Every moment in life is a moment of learning and understanding.

2021 has been a great teacher. Looking forward to another year of more writings and more discoveries.

Photo courtesy: @nellyhats