Level 3 Completed Yet I felt Not Good Enough Until I Discovered…

Despite the teachings and the learnings from Toastmasters International resources, and the wonderful fellow Toastmaster members evaluations, I still felt there was something missing in the aftermath of giving a speech. I had all the right elements: content, vocal variety, eye contact, gestures…but still i wasn’t satisfied.

I received positive and constructive feedback from peers, and yet I felt that I wasn’t good enough.

This feeling ‘not good enough’ didn’t stem from the low self-esteem issue, it was a logical element of comparing myself with the past speeches that I had delivered. I felt I wasn’t in my element – means I was stuck in some discomfort mode, of delivering a speech like everyone else. It wasn’t the fear of public speaking as much as it was the disappointment in the self that I wasn’t able to figure out a speaker identity.

It was a rational question asking why hadnt I improved after having been a Toastmasters member for over 2 years?

After much reflection, I realised that it was my rhythm – I wasn’t sure what it was. I wanted to have a certain style that would build a connection with the audience.

When I say rhythm it meant an alignment with the content and me. The content has to be the kind that I would feel comfortable delivering. It was not a parroted knowledge dump, but a more personal connect.

Everyone has a personal rhythm. When you set out to pursue a task, you will know intuitively that you have got the process and practice right – it’s the sense of ‘yes, I’ve got the feel of it now!’ And now i can get creative with this identity.

Two trial speeches later, I got the clarity. I checked ‘rhythm’ and I came to realise three elements that mattered to me:

1. The content had to resonate deeply with me, so I needed to practice until the content was crisp, simple and yet connectivity existed. I had to get the full value out of the words.
2. I needed to clarify the content by writing and rewriting a step by step flow, that was no more than five, and memorise the steps, not the words.
3. Add stories to clarify the steps – this adds the feeling element to the content

The key that unlocked my rhythm was that it was important that the words connected with me first, before I connected with the audience.

Once I figured out my ‘mojo’ I polished my ideas, and tried it out at the next few meetings. Failed and tried again, i figured out my mistakes. The next time, I got it right. There was a difference, a more relaxed delivery – better connection with the audience.

While you learn all the techniques, it is ultimately up to you to discover your unique style and refine it with every speech. Toastmasters is a great platform to fail fast, get critiqued, until you figure out what it is that works for you and clicks with the audience. I am ready for Level 4 🙂

I got my certification too 🙂

Toastmasters Level 3: Speech 1: Formulate a Communication Plan

Communication Plan: Level 3 Speech
Beliefs Dictate Behaviour – A Workshop

My next speech is to communicate my objective for a workshop about how our beliefs decide our behaviour and therefore how to change them.

What Message do I need to Communicate?

Why am I communicating this Message?

What actions/Attitudes do I hope others will adopt?

Using each question as a structure, I will explain what I need to communicate.

This is a draft content of what I will use to respond to the three questions. 

“Beliefs dictate behaviour” is a statement that holds true in many aspects of life. And is talked about by many coaches and therapists.

 Our beliefs are the lens through which we view the world, and they shape our perceptions, thoughts, and actions. Our beliefs are formed through our experiences, upbringing, culture, and environment.

They can be conscious or unconscious, and they can be empowering or limiting. For example: I am not a confident person when I speak on stage.

Our beliefs can either propel us forward or hold us back from achieving our goals and aspirations. Therefore, it is important to examine our beliefs and ensure that they align with our values and goals. Our beliefs can have a profound impact on our behaviour. And behaviour shows up from our thoughts and habits.

It is important to note that our beliefs are not set in stone. We have the power to challenge and change our beliefs if they are not serving us well. By examining our beliefs and questioning their validity, we can identify any limiting beliefs that may be holding us back and replace them with empowering beliefs that align with our goals and aspirations.

This process of self-reflection and growth can lead to greater self-awareness, confidence, and resilience.

 In conclusion, beliefs do dictate behaviour. Our beliefs shape our perceptions, thoughts, and actions, and they can either empower or limit us. By examining our beliefs and ensuring that they align with our values and goals, we can become better storytellers and create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

Toastmasters Journey Level 3 on Pause…

Here’s to new learnings in 2023…

While I seem to have taken a pause in the prepared speech segments, I have gone full speed ahead and taken up a few facilitator roles – Timekeeper, Grammarian, Table Topics Master, Toastmaster of the Evening, and Evaluator roles. It has given me a broader perspective and a more dynamic mode of expressing myself powerfully.

I have also been assigned a mentee, which is interesting, because I have never really mentored anyone. This helps to self-reflect and learn from my own mistakes and share it as a learning.

There are various ways to express oneself in the Toastmasters Journey. And I choose to explore and widen my repertoire of speaker ability.

Prepared speech segments isolate a speaker’s capacity to speak on a specific topic for 5 to 7 minutes, which is a process that requires deep preparation and practice. The evaluator and facilitator roles offer a different way of expressing oneself. It is an opportunity to firstly define your role creatively so that the audience understands what you are doing, and secondly to share the feedbacks in a constructive and concise way. Most of these roles requires the speaker to share their points in under two to three minutes.

My learnings:

Be able to speak on the spot

Be an active and good listener

Be able to provide constructive feedback without being critical

Be supportive to the speaker to challenge themselves for their next speech

Be comfortable when called up to speak

I will use these learnings in 2023 – to figure out my own unique style and to align with my ability to communicate. Whether I wear a writing, coaching or teaching hat, I want to be able to share information that will connect to the listener/reader, and leave a lasting impact.

My goal is to expand my ability to learn how to teach in a way that leads to transformation and change. Coaching training has taught me to improve my listening skills, to be non-judgmental, and to be able to understand the world from another person’s perspective. This is important for our own self-development as well. We grow as we learn more.

May 2023 guide me towards new insights! Wishing you a wonderfully empowering year.

Toastmasters Journey: Level 2 Speech 3

From my last speech I discovered a bit more about myself. I am good at preparing a speech, yes, diligent, dedicated and demanding of myself. Which is good for the first few speeches, but not a good thing as I go forward. The problem is that I tend to overprepare. When I say overprepare, I mean research, write, add a personal experience, and then practice the speech in my head about a dozen times. I expend too much energy on this phase.

What happens is that despite the great structure of my speech, with all the perfect elements of sharing information, it ends up like a lecture. The point is that I am not having fun with it.

A communications coach once said, I should deliver my speech in a way that is aligned to who I want to be. That’s a deep-dive, I know what he means – I need to be in the moment, sharing from the whole of my being.

So for speech 3, which was my 8th speech. Yey! I decided to relax the preparation. I decided to just go with the flow, and write about something that I enjoy – which is generally new information. Knowledge that I can apply, and share with others.

The theme was Mentorship. I didn’t want my speech to be only about my mentor, or about what mentorship is all about. I wanted to add a different spin to the topic.

I had read in one of the business newsletters that TikTok was a trending site for young people, particularly those seeking advice in their career. The younger generation were searching for mentors on TikTok – a site that was never really taken seriously. TikTok was actually shaping careers of the next generation. Wow! what an amazing story. I decided to create a nice little speech around it. I drafted a few points, and imagined myself in the audience, and then worded my speech in a way that would entice and intrigue.

When I gave my speech, I started by asking a question about TikTok, and then I proceeded to share interesting nuggets of information related to the new ways of searching for mentors.

My delivery was relaxed, interactive, and I also shared my personal insights about the Toastmasters mentorship program, and how much I have gained from it. Mentors do make a difference, and I would recommend that if you are on a new path in life, find a mentor who will be able to guide you correctly.

It turned out to be a good speech.

I won ‘best speaker’! Honestly, I had fun with the speech, I felt connected with myself, and the audience. I sort of understand what my coach said about the alignment. I am still learning the process of finding that perfect balance of words, delivery, emotional connect, and body language. Definitely there’s a lot more to learn and practice. For now, I shall not overthink it.

I am grateful for what I have learned so far. In this year, I have moved from being a nervous speaker, to a more confident one. The best part, is that I will continue on this pathway to practice my speaking skills so that I will become an effective communicator combining my knowledge as a writer and coach, and now speaker.

Looking forward to continuing my Toastmasters journey in 2023.

Toastmaster’s Journey: Level 2 Speech 2

My speech was not structured well. That was the general feedback I received. When one is standing in front of a roomful of people, one needs to entice, and grip the audience’s attention. I should have started my speech with a story, a story of my failed attempt at speaking about my expertise. Below, you will find the content of my speech, I am sure it will benefit someone who needs some updated info on the elevator pitch.

But first, here’s the speech guidelines:

Deliver a 5- to 7-minute speech at a club meeting about your communication style and its impact on your professional and/or personal relationships. If you are uncomfortable discussing your communication style, you may speak about the communication styles you have encountered and how they impact you.

I usually write my speeches in short paragraphs and memorize the main points. This is my speech draft which I did not deliver verbatim:

Expressing Powerfully

I work with written language day in and day out, and yet when I was at a recent Women’s networking event, I stumbled over my own words. The question: ‘What do you do?’ stumped me. I was unable to share a clear concise summary of what I was all about.

Imagine the networking event, it was an after-work drinks, at an exclusive club. Many of the ladies were in stillettoes, branded handbags, perfectly manicured nails and wearing jackets. These were confident savvy women, eloquently sharing their ‘wow’ career path and smoothly handing out their namecard. It was like a dance that was perfectly choreographed. I felt clunky and odd in my flats and rather fusion informal look. In that ambience, I too wanted to make an impression. I am a successful entrepreneur, an author of 11 books, over 25 years of writing experience, and more recently a book coach.

However, I didn’t know how to say all of that and hold the interest of my audience. Instead, when I was asked the question: ‘What do you do?’ I mumbled: ‘I am an author and life coach’, and spent stressful seconds rummaging through my handbag for a namecard, which I managed to produce, but the lady who had shown some interest in me, had already moved on to the next person…

I came home that day feeling really awful – my inner critic in full volume telling me that I should be ashamed of myself. I am a woman who uses words for a living, why is it that I could not even articulate the right words to express my self! It was an angry internal dialogue,  eventually I asked my inner critic to shut up. I reflected on my situation and realised something important about myself.

As speakers, most of you are well aware that 93% of communication is non-verbal. And the rest 7% are the words that we speak. My focus was on the 7%. Why?  Because if I get that 7 % right I knew in my heart of hearts, I would succeed at a100%

I went straight for my laptop and began searching for a knowledgeable personality who would help me develop a power- packed summary of myself, and what I am all about.

Communication, in essence, is building connections, it is forging a rapport, invoking curiosity, so that the person is enticed and says those three magic words – tell me more!

I wanted the words to spill out, with emotion and power, to convey my purpose, all that in 30 seconds or less.

After much deep diving and research, I came across three important points that’s relevant:

1. When someone asks what do you do, don’t tell them who you are, tell them what you do.
2. People don’t really care about your process, what they are interested in is the impact and outcome you create, how you change or improve someone’s life.
3. End the pitch with a question

All of this delivered in a clear concise powerful way. My sincerest thank you goes to Lisa Nichols. I have watched her video many times, I am in awe of her style and ability to express herself powerfully. Do watch if you want to get savvy in delivering a speech and how to pitch.

After learning from her I drafted a short snappy pitch about myself:

Instead of saying I am an author and a life coach. I say:

As a result of my 25 years experience as a writer, and author of 11 books, I have helped aspiring writers, busy individuals, and professionals, write their stories to inspire and spread their wisdom. In fact, one of my clients, a CEO, received glowing book reviews and the book is being used as a resource for MBA students. Who do you know who has a dream of writing a book?

The above pitch template is flexible, easily repurposed depending on my audience. It covers the main points, just enough to arouse curiosity.

That 7% of words, when delivered with the 93% of body language resonates with the listener, becomes powerful, and creates a connection with the listener.

People may understand you through your body language, but they will remember you through your words.

Toastmasters Journey: Level 2 Speech 1

Ordinarily, I would not bother with researching about Leadership styles, and more specifically my leadership style. Quite simply, I am a follower not a leader. I work great in a team. I usually prefer to let others take the lead. What do I know what it is like to be a leader?

So, when I had to write this speech themed on – Understanding your leadership Style:

Write your speech. Include information about your preferred leadership style as well as styles you would like to cultivate and how. If you are uncomfortable discussing your leadership style, you may speak about styles in general.

So I wrote about styles in general. I shared my impression of leaders and their personalities – which is primarily autocratic, ‘my way or the highway’, impatient, ruthless, bullies. I cited Steve Jobs and Soichiro Honda. I had written a chapter on ‘Toxic Workplace’ in my book Reboot Reflect Revive – Self-esteem in a Selfie World. My research was to show how self-esteem is affected by bosses who treat their employees like robots rather than humans. It brought to light the difficulties and mental anxiety faced in the workplace. From there, I had this negative impression about leaders.

However, that impression has since changed.

In my speech, I shared about my change of impression to a more positive one. This happened after I worked on ghostwriting project for a CEO. I expected an arrogant, self-absorbed, type of personality. The individual turned out to have a more compassionate leadership style. The kind who was open to listening to employee’s ideas, creating a better work environment that was focused on creating high morale, and inspiring his staff.

I delivered the speech easily, and that’s when I realised that relating to personal experiences, is what made it easy. I was honest about what I felt and I explained why I felt that way. I shared a few examples, and a personal perspective. That’s all that was needed in a 5-7 minute-speech.

I ended with a quote, which went a bit flat, as I ran out of time. The quote didn’t get communicated effectively – ‘If you want to lead, you must first learn how to obey.’ I needed to bring it into context and to relate it back to my client. There wasn’t enough time. Note to self that I should share the quote earlier on, and repeat it towards the end.

I received positive feedback and I discovered some new facets that I hadn’t realised about my persona. It helps to know how I am perceived when I speak.

Overall mindset: relaxed, less stressed and less afraid to speak

Content: confident in how to write a speech with the audience in mind

Next speech will be on communication styles.

Toastmasters Journey: Level 1 Speech 5

20th July 2022: This was my final speech for Level 1. I was looking forward to moving up the ladder to explore the structured approach to public speaking. Toastmasters is not everyone’s cup of tea, many find it too rigid.

For me what works is the structure, the meeting format, the Club rules, the roles of the facilitators. I love the format and ability to get creative in this space. It allows for freedom to explore from my unique way of sharing my content,

My evaluation was to be sharing my speech taking into account the previous evaluation and feedback.

I chose to share about the book ‘The Secret’ . I wasn’t really sure how the law of attraction worked for some people but didn’t for others. I did some research, found opposing views, and then drafted my speech.

Recalling the feedback, I prepared my speech to be simple, interactive and clear on the call to action.

While I wrote the speech, I began to realise the change that was happening internally. Previously, I would write with the reader in mind, the focus was on creating a descriptive, detailed, and vivid content.

As I discovered the many nuanced differences in writing for a speech and writing for a book, I began to focus on what my audience would be interested to hear.

The words were more listener-friendly rather than reader-friendly.

I did decide on the topic just few days before the speech, drafted and redrafted it based on how I felt comfortable delivering it. I said the words out loud, and if they were clunky, or complicated, I rewrote them. Sharp memorable metaphors helped me to get the message across, a quote, and then a story made the difference. The delivery, of course, is key to capture the audience’s attention. I was friendly, interactive, asked questions. It felt good.

I was confident, I spoke to the audience to entertain, and to deliver a message. It felt right, I felt aligned and comfortable. The initial thudding heart, nerves were all there, but they didn’t stop me from delivering my best speech yet!

Looking forward to Level 2 where I will deliver 3 speeches, and discover my ‘leadership’ style.

Toastmasters Journey Level 1 Speech 4

15th June 2022: I was ready, I knew what I wanted to share – a personal experience – from my trip to India. The power of taking ownership of the words, the expressions, the feelings – it all came together in a well-balanced coordinated way. I received a positive evaluation.

What I discovered about this speech experience, was that if I felt it, I could deliver it, the words flowed, I didn’t have to memorise, everything unfolded on its own. I was connecting with the audience, making them feel the sadness, the acceptance, the joy – the feelings were an important part of the journey. If I didn’t have the expressions that matched the words, the audience would have disconnected. The content was both a personal story and covered big themes in philosophy.. I shared the way I viewed the experience.

Writing a speech is one thing. Delivering is a whole other process. When I write books, I notice that the first step is the creative aspect – putting words on a page, allowing the story to flow using no self-criticism. Writing without judgement. And then, after having written, I would start the editing process. This requires a logical, critical, and careful analysis of the writing, and how to improve. Rewrites follow and the process loops back again, to writing then editing. Write first, edit later.

For a speech, I need to write with some editing in mind. I write with a purpose of ensuring that my audience will understand my key concept quickly and easily. Writing for an audience requires thought and deeper consideration that whatever will be said will not all be absorbed.

When we read, we are able to absorb the content, and we can reread to ensure we get what the author has written.

In a speech, we have to bring not just our words, but all of our physical self to connect with the audience, to show rather than tell.

It is performance art. It is an ability to capture the audience from the first sentence that spills out from me.

As I explore and understand the subtleties of public speaking, I am learning the implicit power of communication.

I have one more speech to go before I complete level 1.

This time, I will take a risk and prepare the speech just two days before the meeting, I’m testing my ability to 1. overcome fear and 2. be able to prepare a speech last minute.

Let’s see how that goes.

Toastmasters Journey – Vocal Variety and Body Language

When I rewrote the speech for the fifth time I came to realise that speech-writing is a whole different creature. As a writer, I write for a reader to visualize a perspective of another reality. While as a speaker, my speech has to be written to get the audience involved in a matter of seconds.

I have discovered that the speaker is just an instrument, carrying a message, to impact the audience. Therefore the most important person in this whole equation is the audience, not the speaker standing on stage delivering his/her address. The ability to charm, to entice and to keep the attention of an audience requires talent and training. And while delivering the speech, one must be mindful to share emotions through tonal quality and gestures.

A speech, delivered with wit and enthusiasm, sells the meaning, the moral, the purpose and creates an impact long after the speaker has left the stage.

While on this journey to be an impactful speaker, I have come to appreciate the ability to communicate and present with effectiveness. I am even more in awe of people who can orate with such power and impact. It is a gift.

My journey as an author, has been writing stories that are evolving and developing in my head. I don’t communicate directly with a reader, I have time to edit, rewrite, and to reevaluate how to structure my work. It is a process. I can take my time to deliver my best work in writing.

Speaking requires a different format. It is having the confidence to meet the audience face-to-face and share an opinion with powerful words, voice, and persona. Using words, structuring an idea, and then articulating them with clarity – all of that in a limited time frame – what skill!!

When I was preparing my speech that would be evaluated on tonal quality and body language, I did practice in front of an imaginary audience, conscious of my hand movements, of my voice, presence and my expressions.

When I delivered my speech to the audience, I added more drama, and it felt like I was acting out a play. It was fun. I received a positive evaluation, and recognition for good use of body language, however I could have done better with vocal variety. The learning continues…

Differences between authoring a book and writing a speech:

1. Speech: Write with the audience in mind, what will grip them, the way one delivers the first few words are important.
2. Book: write to build a world for the reader to visualize. Be descriptive, be detailed with words that create an impact.
3. Speech: When you share a story, don’t go too much into the details, bring the audience right into the centre of the story, like it is unfolding for them in the now. Keep them vested in what you are going to say next, like this: ‘I was in the Doctor’s office. I was only 8 years old, living in Africa….’ The suspense starts right away to capture the audience’s attention.
4. Book: ‘When I was only 8 years old, I was living in a small town in Africa. I was a restless imaginative child who loved playing outdoors in the hot sun. Despite repeated warnings from my mother to stay indoors in the afternoons, I sneaked out to chase orange-grey lizards in the courtyard. I was a skinny little kid, and a poor eater. Worried about my health, my parents took me to visit the Doctor…’ When writing a book, it gets descriptive, and ideally one needs to create context, build the backdrop of the story slowly.
5. Speech: Use gestures, pauses, emotive tones, expressions. Get the audience involved in your speech, in the way you are vested in it, get them to feel your joy or pain.
6. Book: Describe emotions, all the five senses are explored to paint a picture of what’s happening. It is more detailed.

In both ways, the ability to touch hearts through words is the true power of communication.

My Toastmasters Journey: Speech with a Purpose

If you want to join a Toastmasters Club, be prepared to challenge yourself, and be prepared to take it seriously.

Even if it means you have to present your speech online, there is a structure to the two-hour meeting, and everyone is pretty much taking this journey seriously. So online or in-face, the journey to be an impactful speaker requires discipline and dedication.

I thought that online presentations would not have an impact on me. Facing a small laptop screen, where the people are visible in tiny squares, why would I feel intimidated? So, I didn’t do much preparation for this speech.

After my booster shot, I was lethargic, and had no incentive to sharpen and rewrite my speech. I was confident that I had everything in my head, clear about what I wanted to say.

That was foolish of me.

It was a speech with a purpose. A purpose requires thought and reflection. Requires clarity and concision. Requires conviction and energy.

When you go on the Toastmasters website, they explain in detail how to structure a speech. It could be chronological, topical, spatial, causal, comparative, problem/solution, particular/general/particular. And then there are the transitions. Writing a speech requires deep thought and planning.

In 700 words, or less, I needed to articulate clearly what I wanted the audience to understand about my speech with a purpose. And here I was taking it lightly. I should have written ten drafts. I delivered after two drafts. I had practiced the speech only once.

Preparation is key. Speech writing: 75%. And delivery practice: 25%.

The most crucial point is: What is the core of my speech? What are the takeaways that the audience will remember. One must write it down in different ways, a dozen times if necessary. Eventually one must condense the core idea to literally one sentence of seven words or less. To get that kind of precision requires reflection, and deeper understanding of what I wanted to say. I had done a shoddy job.

What I have discovered is that in speech preparation, making it as succinct, as captivating, and as audience-friendly as possible. The goal is to keep in mind that the audience is not going to get immersed in the speech if the speaker is half-hearted and not convinced by his or her own words.

The delivery – tone, expressions, body language, and presence – comes from practice and watching yourself. So, yes practice is necessary to ensure that there are limited number of ‘uhms’ and ‘ahs’.

As a story writer, I want to be able to create a unique way of telling a story. I am psyched by that idea. But first, let me tell you what happened at my second speech.

My speech was okay – I did it standing up. Despite the small squares of people watching, I was slightly nervous. The facilitators of the evening were keeping track of the time, language, and ‘ah’s, with a keen ear. There is pressure in that 5-7minutes of speech to create as much impact as possible. I did the best I could, but I self-reflected that I could have done better if I had prepared.

Speech review: the structure was okay. There was too much explaining, I rambled towards the last two minutes.

And that’s my learning. The writer in me knows I have the potential to improve.

I will be delivering the same speech next week. I have worked on the 5th draft, rewritten it, removed all the extra unnecessary bits. And by next week, hopefully, I will have a polished 10th draft. 🙂

This time the speech evaluators will be focusing on tonal quality, expressions and body language. I will be ready!